The Fall & Rise of Crimebot
Apr. 27th, 2011 11:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alfvaenThis story was based on this "Movie Plot Generator" book I found at the library. It was a "Mix & Match" book where you selected three "plot" elements, a little simplistic, but there were some funny combinations. This was one of them...
Crimebot had a lot of time--5.36 minutes--to think on its way down to the lake, as it spread-eagled itself to minimize its terminal velocity. It had often heard itself described as "indestructible", which was easy enough to understand, even using only the remaining organic sections of its brain. Unable to be destroyed. But now, as it looped fruitlessly once more through the set of actions available to it, it was beginning to realize that it was possible to be indestructible and yet irrelevant.
The definition of "ninja", on the other hand, was inadequate even in the expanded instant-access lexicon in the computerized sections of its brain. It hadn't had time to assimilate the fact that "undetectable" and "always wearing a black outfit" were not mutually compatible, so it had been unprepared for the copilot suddenly turning out to be one of the former. Similarly, brute strength had proven insufficient against an agile opponent that could use one's own weight against oneself. And so Crimebot had ended up hurtling out of the bomb bay due to its own redirected momentum.
Now the very bomber that had been intended to destroy the ninjas' fortress, discovered from hour after tireless hour of poring over satellite photos looking for discrepancies, had fallen into the ninjas own hands, and even now was heading for a landing strip near the fortress. And Crimebot was finding all of his crime-fighting knowledge, both organic and inorganic, useless to tell it what to do as it sank into the lake.
It could survive for long periods of time underwater. Its organic parts were nourished by self-sustaining chemical reactions, with a self-contained oxygen supply designed for venturing into burning buildings. Its outer casing of armour could withstand much greater pressures than it was likely to find in this lake, with a depth of no mor than ten metres according to its geographical fact database. Unfortunately, while it was in some cases capable of self-propelled upward or forward travel, it required an external fuel pack, which it did not in this case possess. And its great density rendered attempts to swim mostly pointless.
It had already consulted its data on how to minimize damage from the fall. Breaking the water surface seemed to be the best principle, so it shot jets of compressed air--one of its "subdual" weapons--at the surface to roil it up. While the spread-eagle position was best to minimize terminal velocity, it was less than ideal for entering the water. Crimbot sealed its external flaps and reoriented itself to enter the water with its outstretched hands before it.
The impact with the water, stirred up as it was, left Crimebot little time to avoid hitting the lake bottom. The reinforced rigidity of its exoskeleton was able to withstand the force, but Crimebot ended up buried upside down, up to its waist, in mud. It took several minutes for Crimebot to extricate itself, with the help of the only slightly damaged compressed air launchers to add to the minimal leverage its legs could provide on the soft mud.
Crimebot cleaned off its external access ports and turned on searchlights to survey its situation. The water was stirred up from Crimebot's descent, river mud making visibility near-negligible, so it switched them off again, trying passive sonar instead. A number of swift-moving shapes, probably fish, many of them moving away from his splash zone. The lakeshore detectable as a gentle slope. And--some sort of metal object several hundred meters away from the shore. Intrigued, Crimebot began slogging in that direction, its tireless legs sinking almost up to the knee with every step.
Its internal chronometer ticked closer and closer to the ninjas' deadline, assuming that the capture of the bomber hadn't altered it unfavourably. Crimebot calculated that at this rate it would arrive too late to be able to alter events, unless it could effect a quicker egress from the lake.
It reached the metal object on the lake bottom with only 26.38 minutes left. A cursory examination in the murky water showed that it was a car, sunken, rusted and beat-up but still recognizable; it probably hadn't been in the water for more than 3-5 years. Crimebot saw a Buick logo on the rear. A feeling almost like hope filled it as it saw...yes, the gas tank was somewhat battered, but still intact. It was difficult to gauge how full it was, but even a one-quarter charge should be enough to generate enough boosting power. It drilled a hole and set up a quick siphon.
The fuel managed to last it long enough for its ballistic trajectory to clear the ramparts of the fortress and bypass most of its defenders, landing on the roof of the central chamber and smashing its way down through it in seconds. The master ninja panicked and tried to launch the rockets before the target program was complete, and they were easily intercepted and brought down.
After Crimebot told its story, its excited superiors arranged to have him stand in front of a video camera and say, "I never would have defeated that army of evil ninjas if it hadn't been for that beat-up old Buick." The significance of Crimebot's action escaped it.
My plot was...
"The Ultimate Crime-Fighting Indestructible Cyborg
Takes On An Army of Evil Ninjas
In A Beat-Up Buick"
Crimebot had a lot of time--5.36 minutes--to think on its way down to the lake, as it spread-eagled itself to minimize its terminal velocity. It had often heard itself described as "indestructible", which was easy enough to understand, even using only the remaining organic sections of its brain. Unable to be destroyed. But now, as it looped fruitlessly once more through the set of actions available to it, it was beginning to realize that it was possible to be indestructible and yet irrelevant.
The definition of "ninja", on the other hand, was inadequate even in the expanded instant-access lexicon in the computerized sections of its brain. It hadn't had time to assimilate the fact that "undetectable" and "always wearing a black outfit" were not mutually compatible, so it had been unprepared for the copilot suddenly turning out to be one of the former. Similarly, brute strength had proven insufficient against an agile opponent that could use one's own weight against oneself. And so Crimebot had ended up hurtling out of the bomb bay due to its own redirected momentum.
Now the very bomber that had been intended to destroy the ninjas' fortress, discovered from hour after tireless hour of poring over satellite photos looking for discrepancies, had fallen into the ninjas own hands, and even now was heading for a landing strip near the fortress. And Crimebot was finding all of his crime-fighting knowledge, both organic and inorganic, useless to tell it what to do as it sank into the lake.
It could survive for long periods of time underwater. Its organic parts were nourished by self-sustaining chemical reactions, with a self-contained oxygen supply designed for venturing into burning buildings. Its outer casing of armour could withstand much greater pressures than it was likely to find in this lake, with a depth of no mor than ten metres according to its geographical fact database. Unfortunately, while it was in some cases capable of self-propelled upward or forward travel, it required an external fuel pack, which it did not in this case possess. And its great density rendered attempts to swim mostly pointless.
It had already consulted its data on how to minimize damage from the fall. Breaking the water surface seemed to be the best principle, so it shot jets of compressed air--one of its "subdual" weapons--at the surface to roil it up. While the spread-eagle position was best to minimize terminal velocity, it was less than ideal for entering the water. Crimbot sealed its external flaps and reoriented itself to enter the water with its outstretched hands before it.
The impact with the water, stirred up as it was, left Crimebot little time to avoid hitting the lake bottom. The reinforced rigidity of its exoskeleton was able to withstand the force, but Crimebot ended up buried upside down, up to its waist, in mud. It took several minutes for Crimebot to extricate itself, with the help of the only slightly damaged compressed air launchers to add to the minimal leverage its legs could provide on the soft mud.
Crimebot cleaned off its external access ports and turned on searchlights to survey its situation. The water was stirred up from Crimebot's descent, river mud making visibility near-negligible, so it switched them off again, trying passive sonar instead. A number of swift-moving shapes, probably fish, many of them moving away from his splash zone. The lakeshore detectable as a gentle slope. And--some sort of metal object several hundred meters away from the shore. Intrigued, Crimebot began slogging in that direction, its tireless legs sinking almost up to the knee with every step.
Its internal chronometer ticked closer and closer to the ninjas' deadline, assuming that the capture of the bomber hadn't altered it unfavourably. Crimebot calculated that at this rate it would arrive too late to be able to alter events, unless it could effect a quicker egress from the lake.
It reached the metal object on the lake bottom with only 26.38 minutes left. A cursory examination in the murky water showed that it was a car, sunken, rusted and beat-up but still recognizable; it probably hadn't been in the water for more than 3-5 years. Crimebot saw a Buick logo on the rear. A feeling almost like hope filled it as it saw...yes, the gas tank was somewhat battered, but still intact. It was difficult to gauge how full it was, but even a one-quarter charge should be enough to generate enough boosting power. It drilled a hole and set up a quick siphon.
The fuel managed to last it long enough for its ballistic trajectory to clear the ramparts of the fortress and bypass most of its defenders, landing on the roof of the central chamber and smashing its way down through it in seconds. The master ninja panicked and tried to launch the rockets before the target program was complete, and they were easily intercepted and brought down.
After Crimebot told its story, its excited superiors arranged to have him stand in front of a video camera and say, "I never would have defeated that army of evil ninjas if it hadn't been for that beat-up old Buick." The significance of Crimebot's action escaped it.
My plot was...
"The Ultimate Crime-Fighting Indestructible Cyborg
Takes On An Army of Evil Ninjas
In A Beat-Up Buick"
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Date: 2011-05-01 06:12 pm (UTC)